Not so Sunday Feeling

What about those days where you don’t feel so Sunday?  Some days I just feel a bit blue or having a “Me” day.  Where I cannot get past my self.  Do you ever have days like that?

I admit I do, more often than I would like.  

Those days I need to take a closer look at myself, at my heart and see what is going on.  Why am I feeling this way?  Do I need to spend more time alone with Jesus.  Probably.  Definitely.

Most of the time that is exactly what the root of my issues are.  I am allowing myself to crowd out Jesus.  

I am a selfish person.  It is a daily struggle to not want what I want.  It is a daily struggle to not want to be first.  It is a struggle to be anything but last.  

I DO NOT like this about myself.  It is not very becoming of a “Southern Lady”.  It is not becoming.

Will I continue to struggle, yes I will.  But I know that He is there with me every step of the difficult struggle and He loves me.  

I ask you to please pray for me.  God is filling me with wonderful ideas.  Don’t know how He is going to work all of them out, but that is His job.  Please pray that I will not get in the way.  I get very excited and sometimes it seems that my agenda gets mixed in with God’s work.  In my excitement to share the ideas with others, it has been said that it comes across as pushy.  So sometimes I don’t tell anyone what is up in my head or heart.  Last month during Church one Sunday morning, I clearly heard God tell me that I am called.  Thus began an argument with Him.  He did not tell me what it is yet He has called me.  But in my insistence that He cannot possibly use me because I am too selfish or not equipped.  He continued to impress upon me that He WILL use me and He WILL equip me for whatever He needs done.  I am scared and excited at the same time.  There is still major work He has to do in me, but we will see what He brings.



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