Satan really likes to play mind games with me. Especially with my rejection issues. Put Satan with my rejection issues and you have a lethal combination. I can talk myself into a pity party in a heartbeat. This week one of my daily devotionals addressed just this topic. Here are a few excerpts:
Have you ever been in a situation where something little felt really big? Maybe a look from someone that suddenly made you feel like they didn’t like you. Or when someone doesn’t return your phone call and you feel like it’s an indication that you’re not important.
Usually these things aren’t true.
The look was just a look with no hidden meaning.
The missed phone call was just a slip on that person’s to-do list.
But if we’re not careful, those misguided feelings can create issues that distract us, discourage us, and trigger past pain that starts taunting us. They can fill our minds with thoughts that are not accurate.
Suddenly, past pain from other times I’d felt rejected and my current embarrassment started running their mouth inside my head. You’re nothing but a loser. You are unwanted. Unloved. Disorganized. Poor. Not acceptable. You are not approved.
Our Lord doesn’t whisper shameful condemnations.
Spiritual convictions, yes. Personal condemnations, no.
As I stared wide-eyed into the darkness that enveloped the room, I whispered, “Give me Your voice, Jesus. I need to hear You above all these painful thoughts. If I don’t hear You, I’m afraid this darkness is going to swallow me alive.” Nothing came. I couldn’t hear a thing.
I had a choice. I could lie in the dark replaying the awful events of the day, or I could turn the light on and read God’s Word—His truth—which is the best thing to do when lies are swarming and painful thoughts are attacking like a bunch of bloodthirsty mosquitoes.
Lies flee in the presence of truth. Comfort comes into our pain when we bring it to Jesus. And while reading God’s truth that night didn’t change the fact that I needed to make things right in my thoughts, it gave me the courage to do so.
Have you ever been there? I find myself there more than I would like to admit. And I really don’t like it. I need to have this prayer tattooed on my eyelids…
Dear Lord, please drown out the other voices … please hush them … and speak. I want to hear You above all the noise. Help me discern Your convictions and the devil’s condemnations. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.